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Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Toilet humor has long been the reliable retreat in everyday journalism, and we are always mindful of notable bog-related stories and milestones, especially in relation to football. What a delight it was to discover that an online journalist a well-known presenter has a West Brom-themed urinal within his residence. Spare a thought about the Tykes follower who understood the bathroom a little too literally, and was rescued from a deserted Oakwell after falling asleep on the loo midway through a 2015 losing match versus the Cod Army. “He was barefoot and misplaced his cellphone and his hat,” elaborated an official from the local fire department. And who can forget at the pinnacle of his career playing for City, the Italian striker entered a community college for toilet purposes in 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, before entering and requesting the location of the toilets, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” an undergraduate shared with the Manchester Evening News. “Subsequently he wandered round the campus as if he owned it.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday represents 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit as England manager following a short conversation in a toilet cubicle with FA director David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, following that infamous 1-0 defeat versus Germany during 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the famous old stadium. According to Davies' personal account, his private Football Association notes, he entered the drenched struggling national team changing area directly following the fixture, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams energized, both of them pleading for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a distant gaze, and Davies discovered him collapsed – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – within the changing area's edge, whispering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies worked frantically to rescue the scenario.

“Where could we possibly locate for confidential discussion?” remembered Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Only one option presented itself. The lavatory booths. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past happened in the old toilets of an arena marked for removal. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I shut the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I'm unable to energize the team. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Results

Consequently, Keegan quit, eventually revealing he viewed his period as Three Lions boss “empty”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I began working with the visually impaired team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It's a tremendously tough role.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. Regardless of improvement or decline, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers have long disappeared, although a German now works in the technical area Keegan previously used. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year's international tournament: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Current Reports

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“There we stood in a long row, clad merely in our briefs. We were the continent's finest referees, premier athletes, inspirations, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with strong principles … however all remained silent. We barely looked at each other, our gazes flickered a bit nervously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with an ice-cold gaze. Mute and attentive” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes match officials were formerly exposed to by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Soccer Mailbag

“What does a name matter? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss named ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to manage the main squad. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and provided some branded items, I've chosen to type and make a pithy comment. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the schoolyard with youngsters he knew would beat him up. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his option to move to Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|